A Series of Outlandish Saturdays Stories
by Dogs Bower
Summary: A collection of my Secret Saturdays related stories that most of which were made in jest, but rarely anyone besides people I know in real life observed.
1. Eternal Lovers: Chapter 1

I realize that some of my fellow readers and friends here were having trouble with certain Saturday fan members and I think a lot of it was stemming from my actions since I was the first to antagonize a few of the angry types through my silly fanfics. I had also gotten a few random angry comments that I wasn't sure of but now know they came from deviantArt through friends of a person I made fun of. Ironically, I wasn't even one of the people who was honest to God angry with the Saturday fan girls for being silly and immature and dumb and writing bad fanfics or claiming kawaii homosexual pairings between vicious monsters to be canon or whatnot. I never take my fandoms too seriously. That can be hazardous to your health. I just thought some of the stories and the way certain people acted in public was really fun to emulate or try and bait and make fun of since they were so ridiculous and sad. That would be you, Maria Sue, kawaii Argost, and Doyle fangirls. Wink, wink. But really, if you're that offended by something silly or gross that somebody else wrote on the internet, you probably need to go outside and breath the fresh air once in a while or just ignore and laugh at me the way I ignore and laugh at you. :)

So thanks for those laughs and for obviously never having seen the works of the great and legendary troll writers out there I emulated many times by replacing subjects with Saturdays characters who either enjoyed my terrible story or yelled angrily at it. And to the people I know who may or may not be reading this, sorry I caused any major problems with the overzealous obsessed fans.

To everyone else, HATERS GON HATE. Enjoy.

**I took this down and put it back up to remove reviews. Sorry!**

**A Series of Outlandish Saturdays Fanfictions  
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Chapter 1: Eternal Lovers Embracing in Tragic Death Forever

Summary: A tale of lover's plight.

Fake Genre: romance/tragedy

**Eternal Lovers Embracing in Tragic Death Forever**

Vincent Vladislav Argost the great and terrible yeti beast although no one had known him to be such a creature as he often took up the disguise of an elderly man and tv show host of V. V. Argost's Weird World which was a show about cryptids, and cryptids were beasts of unknown nature which the scientific world was having trouble accepting as real living creatures, was walking in his rose garden on the outskirts of his mansion one rather gloomy afternoon.

''It is such a fine day to be rich and leading a wonderful life of utmost maliciousness,'' Vincent Vladislav Argost the yeti muttered as he observed his roses which were not red like crimson blood but black like his very soul. He proceeded to rotate his body a full 360 degrees to face the being that was making the sound of approaching footsteps. He observed with his eyes the being which had made the sound of previously stated footsteps as being his lover and bed fellow and manservent Munya, who was a en foot tall broad shouldered man who appeared somewhat as a homage to the Frankenstein's monster though his attire facial features and hair were different. He had one eye. The one eye glanced back at his mirrored loved and master, Vincent Vladislav Argost the yeti, observing him, and he smiled.

''Oh Munya. I am glad you came here to my garden to be with me for I was terribly lonely and was about to slit my wrists,'' Argost spoke, for which he uttered words into the air through his vocal cords which produced them. Then tears of sorrow and pain and social opposition departed from his eyeballs, as he knew as a beast he would never be accepted into a normal human society. "Please embrace me," be begged his taller lover.

His taller lover, the powerful being who was also part spider and often turned into a spider when his master ordered him to do so, accepted the plea of comfort and proceeded to bend his body at a 45 degree angle to lower and embrace his ancient and powerful legendary Himalayan ape lover. The two embraced tenderly.

Suddenly a loud crash was heard in the distance and the two lovers released one another from each of their arms which they were in position currently holding. They turned simultaneously 180 degrees and observed what was to be the image of the Saturday air ship coming to a stop in the mansion's courtyard. After the giant air ship which contained the Saturday family came to a halt, the family members who were the Saturdays came departing from their vehicle of choice and walked down the exit ramp and then aimed all weapons they currently had equipped upon them at the moment at the pair of villains.

"V. V. Argost and Munya," stated Doc "Solomon" Saturday who was wife to Drew "Blackwell" Saturday and father of Zak "the boy who would be Kur" Saturday. "We are here to arrest you for your crimes. We know you are the yeti and planning to take over the world using your television show as a cover up for your terrible deeds," the black man spoke as he proceeded to handle the weapon of his laser glove in a harsh and intimidating manner.

"But I like your show anyway," stated Zak before his female parent Drew "Blackwell" Saturday turned her head 97 degrees to face her biological womb dropping and proceeded to inform him that he should not be viewing such television listings angrily.

And then they shot Vincent Vladislav Argost and Munya. And their bodies lowered limply to the cold ground in death as their brains no longer sent orders to their muscles to remain vertical and they collapsed.

"Oh Munya, my lover," wailed Vincent Vladislav Argost the yeti mournfully as his optic muscles viewed his homosexual beast lover Munya the Franken-spider as clear fluid salt kissed teardrops departed from them. "Embrace me forever in death, my dear lover who every night places his giant purple animal penis into my receptive rectum repeatedly until we both orgasm at a simultaneous point. Together we will be eternal in death!" he cried and then passed on.

"Gggrrr," responded Munya the spider-Frankenstein monster hybrid who also appeared quite somewhat to a hotel bellhop. For he could not speak in full sentences and could only produce growled utterances. He also reached the point in his life where existence suddenly became moot due to severe bodily trauma, and passed.

"Now let us go and observe more cryptids without fear of the dreaded masked madman who was secretly an ape monster and his gay lover monster spider hybrid creature trying to attack and kill our son or any other innocent bystanders," stated Drew "Blackwell" Saturday as she wielded her magnificent flame producing Tibetan sword. "Oh and Zak, you are grounded," she scolded her genetic material who was her son and the product of sexual intercourse with her husband Doc "Solomon" Saturday.

"Oh, mother," whined the thirteen year old boy sadly.

In the cold night's air, the rain began to pour on top of the lifeless corpses of the pair of deceased lovers who were animals and homosexual males. As their organs swelled and rotted, much flatulence was produced by their bodies and their bowels were released onto the ground.

**THE END.**


	2. Death of Zak Saturday: Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Most Unfortunate Death of Zak Saturday

Summary: A tale where Zak Saturday tragically meets his demise at the hands of his former enemies.

Fake Genre: Drama/Angst

**The Most Unfortunate Death of Zak Saturday**

Zak Saturday stared at his dying parents on the deck of the airship that they shared and adventured for years on. It was covered in thick blood from the previous battle which had occurred fifteen minutes prior. Hot tears formed in his eyes as he viewed his dying parents and 'siblings' who were cryptids that his family had taken in years ago when he was but a child. Vincent Vladislav Argost and Munya stared back at the young Saturday boy viewing him manually forming trembling fists with his hands.

"Murders! You murderers!" Zak Saturday screamed as loudly as his young lungs would allow for. The fright masked villain gave a bellowing laugh from his position on the floor several feet away next to his henchman and lover, the spider-mutant Munya.

"You should have known this day would come, young Saturday!" responded Vincent Vladislav Argost to the crying boy in front of him as he waved his clawed hand and arm in a rotating motion and then manually positioned his fingers to point at the young boy. "This was inevitable!" He grinned as much as his fright mask would allow for. He looked over to Munya his manservant and lover and ordered him to step forward which he did manually by positioning his thick purple trouser clad legs and came forward with a deep guttural growl. "Kill the boy, Munya! Rend him to pieces as you did previously to his dear parents and siblings!"

"Zak, don't. You must depart quickly!" Drew Saturday, Zak Saturday's mother cried out as she gasped, her lungs filling with crimson blood from the wounds inflicted upon her from the beastly spider-mutant.

"Get as far away as you can, Zak!" came the dire response of his father, Solomon "Doc" Saturday from his position clawing the floor beneath his torso which had been gravely injured and he was bleeding profusely and one of his legs had been manually torn free from his body.

"No, I won't leave you!" cried Zak Saturday as he manually grasped his weapon, the Claw in his hand and moved forward to engage his enemies. He chose to avoid contact with the spider-mutant and instead aimed his killing attack at Vincent Vladislav Argost who was currently several feet within reach. "DIEEEEE!" he screamed as he swung his weapon down at Vincent Vladislav Argost while his mutant manservant was farther away to be able to come deflect the blow from its contact with the strange villain's torso.

Zak Saturday gasped when his attack was deflected regardless of the amount of force he had put into it and he discovered himself hanging several feet in the air where his own feet were not coming in contact with the ground any longer. He looked up and observed Vincent Vladislav Argost standing and holding his weapon the Claw by the end in his white clawed hand and smiling viciously.

"You're far too weak, young Saturday boy!" the white fright masked murderous villain responded and lifted the small boy manually and threw him into the wall several feet away where he landed with a sickening thud and fell back down to the ground as gravity claimed him by force. Tears streamed down his youthful face with the extreme pain of the counter attack which caused Vincent Vladislav Argost to laugh.

"Vincent Vladislav Argost, you disgusting fiend!" shrieked Drew Saturday and then sadly passed on into the world of the unliving, her bowels instantly releasing inside her tight spandex clad uniform.

"DREEEEEEEEW!" screamed Solomon "Doc" Saturday as he viewed his former wife's gruesome demise at the cruel hands of their common enemies. The exertion caused a fountain of coppery blood to gush out of his oral cavity and silenced him for the while as he choked and sputtered.

Zak Saturday's tears departed from his optical organs profusely and nearly caused him to be unable to view his enemy Vincent Vladislav Argost striding forward at a quick pace. He viewed Vincent Vladislav Argost suddenly tearing off his bodysuit and cloak to reveal his shirt and boxers which consisted of the colors white and pale blue. He also observed the incredible amount of white hair that was visible as the clothing items were removed.

"You are a cryptid!" shouted Zak Saturday as he viewed Vincent Vladislav Argost also removing the shirt and boxers in the same manual manner which left him in his bare humanoid ape form. Zak Saturday also viewed Vincent Vladislav Argost removing his fright mask and manually dropping it to the floor.

"Yes!" responded Vincent Vladislav Argost who was now at the young boy's position on the ground only two feet away. "I am the abominable snowman, as the Himalayan villagers so very graciously labeled me due to my quite beastly nature. But you may simply refer to me as the Yeti!" His hairy ape like face, yellow eyes and small pug nose were revealed along with his thick white fangs which protruded from his lips.

"You are a horrible creature and you are the one who deserves to die, Vincent Vladislav Argost!" exclaimed Zak Saturday through his sobs and tears. He made several attempts to rise from his current position but the shock of the fall when he had been thrown previously had damaged his leg which rendered him immobile and caused him to also urinate on himself involuntarily.

"I murdered hundreds of people and you will now suffer the same fate as the rest of humanity once I become the king of the earth!" exclaimed Vincent Vladislav Argost while manually extending his arm to grasp hold of the young boy's shirt and lift him several feet into the air.

"Noooo!" shrieked Zak Saturday but the cries fell upon deaf ears as the cruel creature who was the yeti, also know by the false human name of Vincent Vladislav Argost proceeded to manually tear the boy apart in a symphony of screams and organs and bloodshed.

"Oh God, no," whispered Solomon "Doc" Saturday as he was forced to view the sickening act of murder with his last few breaths. He was thankful his wife and the rest of his strange family had passed on so that they did not have to view the same revolting act he was currently viewing. Tears streamed down his face as they departed from his eyes and then he too passed on into the realm of the deceased with one low moan of pain and blood pouring from his battered lips.

Vincent Vladislav Argost, the yeti's laughter filled the now deceased Saturday family's airship. He turned to his manservant and lover, the spider-mutant Munya and smiled. "Well Munya, my beloved. It seems you did not have to dirty your hands after all. I'm sorry to have taken away your fun for this day, but I assure you there will be many more," he informed his scowling extra shadow and lover whose scowl then turned into a warm smile as he came over and embraced his furred lover.

Their mouths touch as they manually gave affection to each other and they embraced one another in their wide hairy arms being careful not to scrape their long claws against either of their bodies or strike their fangs against each others flesh.

"Munya, embrace me for eternity!" exclaimed Vincent Vladislav Argost, the yeti, as his arousal was revealed to his lover and his lover the mutant-spider removed his purple trousers by manually tearing off the fabric as there was no longer a need to disguise in the pretense of being humans.

The two creatures of beastly proportions began manually rubbing their furred bodies against one another and then Munya proceeded to position his large sexual organ deep into the furred buttocks of his lover and the two thrust vigorously against one another until they both came simultaneously with loud howls while insisting on rubbing their fur in the pooling blood of their enemies. Then the two creatures proceeded to consume their deceased enemies remains to satiate their carnally induced hunger.

**The END.**


	3. Chocolate with Strawberries: Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Chocolate with Strawberries

Summary: Vincent Vladislav Argost and Munya engage in relaxing picnic activities until disruptions occur.

Real Genre: Humor

**Chocolate with Strawberries**

Vincent Vladislav Argost insisted on taking a walk down to the local park with his lover, the spider-mutant Munya, where the two eternal lovers were planning on having a relaxing picnic in the vicinity. The two held hands as they walked along the side walk in tandem, ignoring the disgusted glares they received from passing persons who didn't not and did not wish to understand their true love.

"Oh Munya. I cannot wait to end humanity once and for all. Then we shall never be forced to view their angry stares!" complained Vincent Vladislav Argost the disguised yeti, as he continued walking with his eternal lover. Munya proceeded to utter a low growl in agreement and manually raise and lower his head.

The two reached the park and observed for a location for which to set down their blanket, basket, and foods, ect. Vincent Vladislav Argost observed a shady spot where a large oak tree was growing and insisted they place their items on the location. "Let us picnic here, Munya!" he said happily.

Munya the spider-mutant responded with a growl of agreement once again and took the blanket and laid it down into the shaded grass. The two lovers placed all accessory items onto the picnic blanket and Vincent Vladislav Argost manually removed several containers from the basket and also placed them onto the blanket in neat rows. He viewed the sandwiches, fruits, jars of condiments, potato salad, cheese and crackers, cocktail sausages, olives, pickles, ect.

"Delightful!" exclaimed Vincent Vladislav Argost at the sumptuous assortment. Then he and his extra shadow proceeded to begin enjoying their afternoon meal.

They consumed various food items slowly before Vincent Vladislav Argost observed Munya unwrapping a cloth covered package by himself that had been set aside. The item was revealed as a package of plump ripe strawberries. Munya smiled as he continued unwrapping another box which consisted of a gold paper design. He set it aside. He opened the box. It was revealed as being fine chocolate sauce from Switzerland. Vincent Vladislav Argost smiled through his fright mask. "Munya, you spoil me so," he declared happily as his lover picked up a strawberry and dipped it into the confection and manually raised it with his hand toward Vincent Vladislav Argost's open oral cavity.

Suddenly without warning the confection was knocked aside and the two startled lovers observed with confusion the damaged packages which had a football lodged in the chocolate sauce. They looked up. They growled. They observed a muscular man clad in a green uniform walking over at a casual pace of stride.

"Leonidas Van Rook!" exclaimed Vincent Vladislav Argost with great annoyance as he manually formed angry fists with his clawed white hands to profess his aggression. He viewed the Russian mercenary stepping very close to their picnicking blanket and rotating his body at a 95 degree angle as he manually bent to retrieve his football.

"Oops! Sorry about that, I didn't see you there," the Russian man stated with quite the obvious sarcasm as he picked up his sports item and went back to standing straight as he viewed the two disgusting lovers of who he hated with a fierce loathing.

"Sure you didn't, you oblivious buffoon," snarled Vincent Vladislav Argost while he attempted to clean the chocolate from his cloak before they set in and stained forever. "What are you doing at this place anyway?" he angrily wished to know.

"None of your business, you ape stinking old bat!" replied the swarthy Russian with a grim smile cast down upon his former employer and his beastly lover. "What are you doing here, besides making out with your monster boyfriend over there in public! There should be laws against that just because of you two. In fact I'm quite sure there was a "NO PETS ALLOWED" sign over there! Ha ha ha!" laughed the Russian man as he licked the chocolate off the football and then began to manually depart while putting one leg in front of the other at a brisk pace. "Not bad but I bet that chocolate is expensive so I won't bother getting any to share with my not-gay lover," he stated with another laugh.

"GGRRRR," growled Munya with rage but Vincent Vladislav Argost held back his bloodthirsty mutated lover because they were in public and there were possibly policemen all around as well.

"Do not fret, Munya, my beloved," said Vincent Vladislav Argost as he attempted to calm his hairy companion and lover. "We will soon take over the earth with the power of Kur and then we will have that man in chains stripped down to his boxers and I will whip him while you rape him and then we will both pee in his oral cavity and it will be splendid fun. I will order Chinese food for dinner. I shall mark it on our calender."

Munya growled in response because that was all he could do because he does not have a working voice box for whatever reason. Then he manually picked up another strawberry with his hand and proceeded to go back to eating with his eternal lover. Suddenly without warning Munya gasped and fell over and Vincent Vladislav Argost also gasped when he viewed the football lying on the ground next to Munya which had been the source of the beast man's injury.

"Munya!" Vincent Vladislav Argost shrieked as he manually proceeded to touch his unconscious lover's still form. He looked up. He heard the vicious laughter coming from several feet away. He turned and viewed his Russian former ex-employee and now enemy doubled over with laughter at the sight of the event which had happened prior. A woman was at his side. She looked worried. It was Drew Saturday.

"I don't know why I keep going out with you, Leonidas. You are a jerk!" Drew Saturday scolded her former and now secretly off and on ex-boyfriend-and-also boyfriend. She rotated her body a full 180 degrees and proceeded to depart back to the picnic table so she did not have to partake in the embarrassing incident any further.

"It was very funny! It is not my fault those two are so stupid," the Russian man complained.

"Leonidas Van Rook, you wretched man! You are not getting this toy of your back!" cried Vincent Vladislav Argost as he manually lifted the football and also manually tore it apart with his clawed hands and threw the pieces into the air. "If you proceed to come over here once more, it will be you lying on the ground in such small pieces!" he threatened.

"STUPID OLD BAT! THAT COST ME TWELVE DOLLARS!" shrieked the Russian at the sight of his ruined sports item. He manually departed angrily to be with his former and re-former ex-girlfriend who he loved and had a stalker-crush on even though she was married and she was also seeing him behind her husband's back which was slightly strange but nobody minded, especially not them.

Vincent Vladislav Argost proceeded to wet a wash cloth and rest it upon his injured lover's bruise that had formed on his head. "Are you okay, Munya?" he wished to know as hot wet tears filled his golden eyes.

Munya sat up. He growled. It meant he was okay. He nodded. He took the wash cloth and rubbed his head with it to make the bruise go away. It remained.

"Remain with me forever!" cried Vincent Vladislav Argost as he manually embraced his mutant lover.

Their mouths touched as they gave each other oral affection. They ceased when suddenly a baseball hit Vincent Vladislav Argost in the face as he fell to the ground unconscious and then the baseball bounced off and hit Munya on the other side of his head causing him to also fall back unconscious while Leonidas Van Rook chortled loudly in the distance.

"Drew, let's go take their chocolate so that we might consume it with bananas!" the Russian exclaimed while Drew Saturday shook her head manually back and forth in embarrassment. But she did really like chocolate so she helped do it anyway.

**The END.**


	4. The Carnival: Chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Carnival

Summary: Zak Saturday and Fiskerton have more fun than they expected at a local carnival.

Real Genre: Humor/Friendship

**The Carnival**

Zak Saturday was currently roaming a local carnival with his 'sibling' the Lumerian Fiskerton Phantom known more affectionately as Fiskerton. The two exchanged smiles and laughter as they proceeded to walk while consuming cotton candy. They stopped when they came to a game booth where there was a ring toss game. Fiskerton looked excited. Zak frowned.

"No Fisk. Those games are always rigged and it's a waste of money! These carnies are jerks most of the time," said Zak as he pushed his 'big brother' away as the primate-feline whined with protest. "Come on, let's spend our tickets on something better like a ride!" They approached the Ferris wheel. They smiled at each other. "Let's go on this one!" Zak exclaimed. Fiskerton nodded eagerly. They got into line.

Gasps left their lips when they observed their enemies Vincent Vladislav Argost and Munya in the front of the line to get upon the ride as well. The attendant removed the bar and began accepting tickets as the line moved forward and the passengers took seats. Zak and Fiskerton ducked low so as to not be seen right away by the pair of strange enemies.

"Fisk! I have an idea," stated Zak with a broad smile. "Let's go on a seat behind them and throw things at them when they are below us!" Fiskerton manually placed a large hand over his wide mouth to cease his giggles from being heard while he proceeded to nod.

The two gave their tickets and ran to obtain their desired seating. They closed the safety bar down upon themselves and waited while laughing. Their enemies never observed the giggling pair boarding the ride. They proceeded to share oral affection with each other before the ride started. The ride started moving and the wheel began to rotate in a circular motion. Zak and Fiskerton waited until the rotation had placed them directly above the carriage that their enemies were currently seated in. They began tossing pennies at the seat below and proceeded to duck when the two villains turned to view where the projectiles were coming from.

"What is going on? I think someone is dropping their pocket change," stated Vincent Vladislav Argost to his mutated lover, never viewing the pair of enemies in the carriage above them. He shrugged. He proceeded to continue embracing and kissing his eternal companion.

The Ferris wheel began another rotation. The carriages lined up directly one again and Zak and Fiskerton tossed down chewed gum before ducking back once again and attempting to stifle their laughter. They viewed gum stuck into both villains hair.

"Whaaaat?" growled Vincent Vladislav Argost as he manually touched his greying locks and discovered chewed sticky gum wads entangled within. His fingers became stuck in the substance and he was unable to withdraw his hand. "Munya, my hair. There is gum in my hair! I cannot withdraw my hands from my head!" he exclaimed.

Munya gave a low growl because his back was stuck to the seat. He growled louder and ripped free before attempting to aid his lover with his distress. He soon discovered his own hands had become stuck to Vincent Vladislav Argost's hair and a look of shock presented itself upon his gruesome visage. The two strange villains audibly heard uncontrolled laughter coming from the carriage behind them. They attempted to turn but could not view anything but the back of the seat. They waited until another rotation came. They finally observed the pair of legs which they knew belonged to their young enemies. The pair were laughing hard.

"You two!" growled Vincent Vladislav Argost with rage. "I should have know those incidents were no accidents. "You will pay for this, little Saturday boy!" he snarled. He attempted to shake his clawed white fist at the pair of trouble makers but it was firmly entangled in his lover's red hair.

"Have fun together, you two!" Zak cried with glee before tossing his soda cup down onto the villains.

The ride slowed and came to a stop and the two brothers got off as quickly as possible while laughing and proceeded to run off into the carnival grounds full of people, leaving the two strange villains in their predicament glued to one another while the crowd laughed.

**The End.**


	5. To Save My Dear Sister: Chapter 5

Chapter 5: To Save My Dear Sister

Summary: Doyle Blackwell must face off against his former teacher to save his sister from a terrible fate.

Half Fake, Half Real Genre: Drama/Humor

**To Save My Dear Sister**

Doyle Blackwell who was younger brother to Drew "Blackwell" Saturday insisted on running through a desolate train stock yard during the pouring rain. He was being pursued by one of his former employers who was a man named Leonidas Van Rook who was a former Russian mercenary and Spetsnaz member. He ceased running when he heard the sound of falling tear gas containers. He viewed them coming down in front of him. He gasped as the bombs went off and clouds of stinging gas surrounded him.

"You shall not get away from me on this day former apprentice Doyle Blackwell!" shouted the Russian man as he descended with his jet pack from his position hovering in the air. His jet pack's propulsion system was shut down which caused him to be able to come to the reaches of the ground once again and his feet touched terra firma He walked over to his fallen opponent. He tilted his head so that he was facing downward so that he might observe Doyle Blackwell on the ground coughing.

"Free my sister, Van Rook!" demanded Doyle Blackwell from his current position even though his eyes and throat were burning from the noxious gas and he could not see well.

"No!" responded the Russian man evilly. He manually rotated his foot and used it to kick at Doyle Blackwell's body. "She is going to be with me forever and we are going to be married as it should have been long ago!" he declared.

"You are insane. She does not love you!" shouted Doyle Blackwell as he continued to insist on coughing and began to also retch with discomfort. The could was beginning to dissipate.

"Yes she does! I will make her love me if she does not!" cried the Russian man. He punched Doyle Blackwell in the head and caused the younger man to become prone in the dirt. "If she still refuses, don't think that I would not attempt to end her life!"

"No!" cried Doyle Blackwell. He manually formed trembling fists with his hands. His tear filled eyes viewed his enemy and former teacher with hatred. "You leave her alone," he commanded.

"What are you going to be able to do to save her, you little punk?" the mad Russian wished to know.

"I would do anything for her," responded Doyle Blackwell with sadness and yet determination.

"Oh? Anything, is that right?" inquired his former teacher and boss. Who was also Russian.

"Yes," replied Doyle Blackwell and tried to stand up once again now that the horrible smoke had cleared away.

"Okay then. Perhaps I will make a change of plans and free your beloved sister after all!" responded the Russian man.

Soon Doyle Blackwell found himself clad in a spare tight orange and black spandex uniform like the one his dear sister always was witnessed wearing during outings. A white wig had been fastened to his head and currently replaced his shaggy orange locks. He was currently on all fours with his uniform pants gracing his muscular thighs. Van Rook was behind him engaged in sexual intercourse with his posterior. Hot tears departed from his eyes as he was forced to endure the non-stop act.

"I did this for you, Drew," he muttered along with continuous screams of agony as his exit pipe was briskly ravaged.

"Shut up, Drew! You know I hate it when you talk during sex!" complained Van Rook before groaning with his final orgasm.

**The End.**


	6. Love and Death: Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Love and Death But Mostly Death

Summary: A tragic tale of heroes and villains.

Fake Genre: Drama/Angst

**Love and Death But Mostly Death**

Fiskerton "Fisk" Saturday and Zak Saturday viewed their current common enemies as the pair stood at the bottom of the Giza Pyramid. Their hands manually formed fists while they prepared to engage in combat with their enemies who were the dreaded Vincent Vladislav Argost and his mutant henchman-servant-lover Munya.

"We know your secret, Argost! We will kill you upon this day!" shouted Zak Saturday with anger. He picked up his weapon, the Claw and held it manually before stepping forward one step. Fiskerton growled in his current position besides his human 'brother'.

The gorilla-cat lowered his body at a 95 degree angle and retrieved a large rock from its place on the ground before raising back up to a straight position and holding the rock which he prepared to throw at his enemies.

"You cannot kill me, young child," responded Vincent Vladislav Argost as he chortled with glee. "You are far too weak as a human," he said and sneered with his large fangs exposed.

"I might not be able to but Fiskerton can!" declared Zak Saturday as he manually pointed to his larger stronger inhuman 'brother'. Fiskterton threw the rock with much force and it struck Vincent Vladislav Argost's constant companion and secret lover, the spider beast mutant Munya. The action caused Zak to laugh and Vincent Vladislav Argost to shriek.

"Munya!" Vincent Vladislav Argost cried as he viewed his eternal lover falling to the ground and blood pouring from the wound which was on his head which was made by the thrown rock coming into contact with it which caused major blunt force trauma. Tears began profusely streaming from his golden eyes as his body was wracked with mournful sobs because it appeared Munya was done for. And indeed it was for shortly afterward, the spider mutant man-beast manservant joined the world of the unliving as his hand gently touched his former lover's masked face which he had proceeded to bring close in his mourning. "I love you forever, my beloved lover!" he whispered as more tears departed from the fluid ducts his optical receptors.

"Grrr," Munya responded because that was the only way he could. Then he died and proceeded to void his massive bowels which began to soak into his purple pants and cause a terrifying potent odor to surround him.

"MUNYAAAAAAA," screamed Vincent Vladislav Argost as he proceeded to weep like a baby who had just been circumcised by a drunken Rabbi during Rosh Hashanah and he threw himself down onto his former now ex-lovers body though it was covered in fetid fecal matter and the fecal matter was getting into his own garments of clothing and his bug filled hair.

"Fiskerton, you did it! You killed Munya! Now let us kill Argost as well!" declared Zak Saturday while swinging his weapon, the Claw, toward his last common enemy.

"Wurunga woozaaah!" growled the bo-legged beast. He looked around for another rock to use as a killing weapon but could find none so he decided upon simply running toward the grieving enemy while he was distracted by the murder of his mutated lover. He never anticipated Vincent Vladislav Argost to suddenly get back up and rotate his body a full 180 degrees to face the oncoming attack.

Suddenly without warning, Vincent Vladislav Argost bellowed a roar much like that of an angered lion of Kenya and ripped away his dirtied garments of clothing to reveal a muscular ape like body covered in sheets of white fur, some of which was still discolored a shade of brown and some of which was also discolored a shade of red because he had also soaked in some of his former murdered lover's blood as well as feces. He was wearing boxer shorts which he insisted on keeping on.

"You a freak of nature and you are a cryptid!" screamed Zak Saturday as he chose to also run toward his beastly enemy. "Fiskerton, look out! He is much taller than you!" He viewed his 'brother' ceasing his running but he was now very close to Vincent Vladislav Argost who was a yeti.

"Wuzunga woo!" exclaimed Fiskerton moments before he was manually snatched up by the huge yeti's clawed hands. He let out a shriek of pain as the claws were placed into his hair covered flesh. They drew blood. Zak screamed.

"I am also much stronger than you, you lowly Fiskerton Phantom!" stated Vincent Vladislav Argost, the yeti, as he proceeded to draw more blood and screams of agony from the ex-Lemurian. Because Lemuria was destroyed by Nagas. "You caused my former lover to become deceased and now I will cause your former 'brother' to join him in the world of the undead!" declared Vincent Vladislav Argost manually holding out his clawed hand to strike down at the crying cryptid.

"Nooo!" screamed Zak Saturday and used his weapon, the Claw to project himself toward his enemy. "Leave my brother alone!"

Zak proceeded to come in contact with Vincent Vladislav Argost's body and grasped his long hair and pulled on it roughly before using his weapon, the Claw, to strike at the beastly humanoid. Vincent Vladislav Argost, the yeti, shrieked in pain as the metal staff came in contact with his body and made bruises and several cuts. Vincent Vladislav Argost was much stronger than the small child and he proceeded to manually drop the inured Fiskerton Phantom below to where the ground was and instead manually grasp at the young boy. Once he had a firm grasp of the young boy, he proceeded to strangle the life out of him while laughing.

"I wasn't planning on killing you first, Saturday boy, but you left me little choice so take your well deserved death," cried Vincent Vladislav Argost, the yeti, as he tore the unfortunate boy limb from limb once he was choked. He snarled and threw Zak Saturday's leg and arm at the prone and weeping Fiskerton Phantom. "There! Now we are both without our loved ones!" he screamed.

Fiskerton wept profusely while viewing his former 'brother's remains before getting up on his feet and with rage consuming him he roared fearsomely and chose to run toward a large stone pillar. He used his force to make the pillar crumble down onto the two ape creatures. Vincent Vladislav Argost screamed before he was crushed as well. Hours later, the sand covered the bodies and buried them for all eternity.

**The End.**


	7. Emergency: Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Emergency

Summary: V.V. Argost runs into trouble along with the Saturdays during a trip to the local store.

Real Genre: Humor

**Emergency**

Vincent Vladislav Argost was walking to the local drug store to obtain medicine for his sick manservant and lover Munya who was ill in bed with spider pox. Along the way he happened to bump into his enemies, the Saturdays.

"Oh no, it is the dreaded Saturday family!" growled Argost angrily. "I shall not allow them to prevent me from obtaining the medicine for Munya!" he vowed. He went to the pharmacist. He got the medicine. He was going to leave but he bumped into Zak Saturday again who had tried to get away from his mother who was currently engaged in purchasing him underwear.

"Saturday boy! What are you doing away from your dear mother?" demanded Vincent Vladislav Argost.

"I'm trying to avoid being seen receiving Pokemon and Toy Story 3 underwear, that's what!" complained Zak even though he enjoyed those two franchises. He was still embarrassed to be seen with them at his age, especially with his mother telling him they were very cute while people were watching.

"Oh, I see," muttered Vincent Vladislav Argost. "Well, you had better not get in my way any longer!" he told the boy. "I have to leave. But first I must use the restroom!" he muttered. He exited to locate the restrooms.

He almost bumped into Solomon "Doc" Saturday, Zak's father, along the way. He was in the tools isle. He avoided the one eyed man who was currently looking at power tools.

"Where is the restroom?" Vincent Vladislav Argost growled. He could not hold it in very much longer. He went to ask a male associate. The associate pointed to the far left of the store. "Why all the way back there?" he growled again.

Vincent Vladislav Argost continued his quest for the restroom. He got to the back where the associate had told him to go to. There was no restrooms there. Rage came over him. He suddenly saw Fiskteron "Fisk" Saturday and Zak Saturday in the toy isles playing with remote controlled cars. One of them came driving past him as he attempted to walk by. He almost tripped. He snarled. Fiskteron was controlling another car which hit his foot. He shrieked and fell. Fiskerton laughed and threw down the controller and ran away into another isle.

"I didn't do it!" yelled Zak and ran away in a similar fashion while laughing. Vincent Vladislav Argost got back up, enraged.

"Saturday boy and your gangly sibling, I will get you for that!" he shouted. He ran to find the restrooms. He looked up and saw a sign which told the correct direction. He left as fast as he could in it.

When he reached the correct location of the restrooms he was aggravated to find a line had formed and there was only one working toilet in the men's room.

"Whaaaaaaaat?" Vincent Vladislav Argost squawked as his eyes became very large. He got into the line anyway.

After several minutes it was his turn. Suddenly he was shocked to discover Zak and Fiskerton in front of him.

"Whaaaaaat? How did you get in front of me?" Vincent Vladislav Argost demanded.

"Easy. We just cut the line while you weren't paying attention," replied Zak with a shrug. "Fiskerton really has to go to the bathroom, it's an emergency!" Before Vincent Vladislav Argost could say anything else, Zak and his 'brother' ran into the restroom.

"Noooooo!" shrieked Vincent Vladislav Argost as his bowels were involuntarily voided into his own boxer shorts.

"You might want to check the seventh isle. They have protective undergarments for old folks like you who have such accidents, Argost!" laughed Zak sticking his head halfway out of the restroom door.

**The End.**


	8. Chinese Food and Boxer Shorts: Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Chinese Food and Boxer Shorts

Summary: Vincent Vladislav Argost receives a strange fortune which presents him with numerous difficulties.

Fake Genre: Humor/Romance

Note: I wrote this as a perhaps three chapter piece but didn't make it that far before I got bored of trying to write it. It was going to get more and more ridiculous until Argost died a gruesome and hilarious death toward the end or something. It ironically enough received a comment from somebody who I'm giving the benefit of the doubt as taking CryptidGirl's name to post under. Because somebody under the name CryptidGirl wrote "go ryuu-san!" on the original post when I had it up. Seems a little bit odd since I assumed the real person under that name hated me for making bad Argost romance parodies. Tell me you weren't expecting honest and tender Argost and Munya buttsex instead of my typical vulgar parody? I always have something bizarre and gross or silly happen eventually in all my stories. :D

**Chinese Food and Boxer Shorts**

Chapter 1. Unfortunate Fortune

Vincent Vladislav Argost walked through his mansion Weird World and to the doorbell when it rang. He opened the door. He looked outside. He observed his former employee and also enemy, Doyle Blackwell, standing with a large brown bag of hot foodstuffs.

"How amusing! Doyle Blackwell is now been reduced to a Chinese food delivery boy!" said Vincent Vladislav Argost and gave a very loud laugh. Doyle tried not to blush with embarrassment.

"It pays my debts, you clown!" he muttered.

"What was that, boy?" Vincent Vladislav Argost snarled. "You won't receive a tip from me with that attitude. I might call your manager as well," he threatened with a large grin.

"Nothing!" responded Doyle while averting his eye contact. "Here is your food. You owe 27.50. Sir."

"Very well," said Vincent Vladislav Argost and he took out his wallet and paid for the delivery and then took the bag. He took out a dollar extra and placed it into Doyle's hand. "I suppose I shall pity you and allow you your tip!" he laughed.

Doyle frowned as he took the dollar. He gasped when he observed the cryptid bug trying to crawl onto his hand and flung it to the ground. "You old fruit!" He proceeded to walk away fast and disgruntled while Vincent Vladislav Argost continued to laugh and shut the door.

"Stupid boy. He should have not betrayed me. He would have made far more money. That would have been until I took over the world and finished destroying him and his family!" Vincent Vladislav Argost laughed once again as he proceeded to walk back into the living room and into the kitchen and to the table and placed down the bag.

He observed his companion and lover and mutant spider beast creature Munya standing in his purple boxer shorts. Vincent Vladislav Argost widened one yellow eye.

"You do not wish to get your clothes soiled, I take it," he said and smiled at the sight of his lovers broad furry chest covered in many fine sharp hairs. His companion and lover nodded while he observed him opening the bag and removing several white containers and arranging them on top of the table. "Please fetch utensils, dishes, and plates Munya."

Munya did as he was told and came back with the requested items and placed them onto the table also and arranged them along side the containers which Vincent Vladislav Argost was preparing to remove the foods from and place them to the serving dishes.

"This is going to be a fantastic meal," spoke Vincent Vladislav Argost as he viewed the Kung Pao chicken, sweet and sour pork, fried noodles and rice, fried wontons, sweet and sour soup, cashew chicken, vegetable egg rolls and fortune cookies.

The two creatures sat down and picked up their choice of utensil and proceeded to choose foodstuffs for which to consume. They placed the items onto their plates and dishes and then began consuming them to satiate their hunger. Suddenly they were interrupted by a knock on the front door.

Vincent Vladislav Argost scowled and set down his utensil before he proceeded to get up from his chair. "Who could that be interrupting our meal this late in the evening?" he muttered. He proceeded to depart from the kitchen and walk back to the front door and open it. He observed nobody in the front field of his view. Suddenly he looked down and saw a young child.

"Hello. Do you want to purchase some Girl Scout cookies, sir?" asked the adorable little young girl with orange pigtails and a missing front tooth.

*Oh dear* thought Vincent Vladislav Argost, *I don't wish to waste my hard earned money on such confections, but it's very hard to turn away these small children. And they are very persistent. Also, one of their parents might be observing from afar because it is very late for a child to be out alone by herself* He finally decided to purchase a box just to be safe.

"Oh, all right. I shall purchase one box from you, my dear little girl," replied Vincent Vladislav Argost before he took his wallet out once again and proceeded to withdraw two dollars before handing it to the girl and taking the box from her hands.

"Thank you!" she said before proceeding to depart down the stairs and walkway.

Vincent Vladislav Argost closed the door once again and returned to the common kitchen area where Munya was slowly consuming his food at a snail's pace. Vincent Vladislav Argost sat down in his chair and resumed his dinner after placing the box of cookies onto the table.

"Rrrr?" growled Munya questioningly because that is all he can communicate.

"Yes, I know! I regret purchasing them but the little girl made me feel guilty! It's only one box. We shall consume it easily," muttered Vincent Vladislav Argost while shrugging. Munya smiled and stared at the box. Vincent Vladislav Argost proceeded to widen one eye before shaking a finger at his companion and lover. "Not during dinner, you will ruin your appetite, Munya," he scolded. "Besides, we already have these fortune cookies."

The two creatures proceeded to eat to their fills and placed several empty containers into the waste can before taking the rest of the leftover items and placing them into the refrigerator. Only the several fortune cookies remained on the table. They two stared at them.

"I suppose we should break them open and observe our fortunes!" said Vincent Vladislav Argost while smiling darkly. His companion and lover nodded and growled.

"Grrr," replied Munya.

They each took a cookie and proceeded to break it into halves before consuming one half. They each unfolded the long white paper formerly concealed within the cookie and looked at it. Munya showed his fortune paper to Vincent Vladislav Argost who read it aloud for him.

"You are soon to come into much wealth. Your lucky numbers are 12, 4, 15, and 7. Your lucky color is scarlet," he spoke before laughing with amusement. "Wealth, eh? Perhaps you will soon become the star of your own television show, Munya. Perhaps a late night erotic talk show host!" He proceeded to laugh while Munya laughed as well.

Vincent Vladislav Argost placed his clawed hand onto his own fortune paper and proceeded to read it next. "Well let's see how my fortune turns out. Eh? Your luck has been completely changed today for the worse?" he muttered while staring at the offending cookie fortune.

"Ruh roh," chuckled Munya. He flinched when he was punched in the arm by his lover but did not cease laughing.

"Oh, these fortunes are rubbish anyway!" muttered Vincent Vladislav Argost before he proceeded to crumple the paper and throw it into the waste receptacle. He got up. He stretched. "I believe it is time to retire to the bedroom for the evening."

The two creatures proceeded to do as such. They undressed from their garments except for Munya who retained his boxer shorts and Vincent Vladislav Argost stripped down to his which were white in color and had purple hearts upon them. Vincent Vladislav Argost rubbed his furry white body against the red furred body of his mutated spider lover while their mouths proceeded to touch and they embraced one another before entering the world of dreams together where they dreamed about each other as well.

During the evening, Vincent Vladislav Argost awoke from a strange occurring nightmare where he was being chased by something horrible but he could not observe exactly what. He gasped and his breathing became labored and heavy before it returned to normal and he rotated his body to lift himself out of bed. He observed his lover still slumbering and did not wish to wake him so he was silent as he departed to the restroom.

"I wonder what all that was about? Perhaps the food did not fully agree with me which caused my nightmare," muttered Vincent Vladislav Argost as he took off his white mask and proceeded to place water from the running tap onto his face.

He then attempted to rotate the water knob and turn off the water but to his shock it broke! Water began spraying into his face which caused him to sputter and gasp.

In the bedroom, Munya was risen from his sleep in confusion at all the noise. He quickly got up and came to the bathroom to discover his lover being sprayed with water and water filling the floor of the restroom. He gasped. He came over and manually rotated the broken part of the faucet himself with his strength which caused the overflowing water to cease coming out. He looked down curiously at his soaked lover whose fur was matted down and dripping and he looked very annoyed. Munya raised up his large hand to cover his mouth which was starting to show a trace of a smile.

"Do not say anything about the fortune, Munya! I do not believe in it!" muttered Vincent Vladislav Argost.

**No. This will not be continued. :)**


	9. Ghost Love Lost: Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Ghost Love Lost

Summary: The Secret Saturdays mafia characters get what is coming to them.

Half Real, Half Fake Genre: Humor/Crime

**Ghost Love Lost**

Vincent Vladislav Argost, Munya, Leonidas Van Rook, Doc Saturday and Drew Saturday were all agents of the Italian mafia for some reason because it was another apparent universe where little made sense unto the canon where it was originally instated or the cartoon show. Also because this is a work of fanfiction where anybody with a keyboard can slam up any psychotic travesty and place it upon the Internet public hosting sites for all to be forced to see. Such is the severe problem with the Internet in the first place. Back to the story at hand, these fellows and female were mafia characters are would be systematically referred to as "button men" for yet another unknown reason other than calling them "suits" or simply "mafia men" or simply "thugs" was not good enough a description. They were all sitting in their unspecified hideout where they were about to enjoy pizza and Chinese food because that is what casual mafia thug activities consist of.

Leonidas Van Rook was holding his dear wife Drew Saturday close to her even though her last name was Saturday which would lead some to believe she was actually Doc Saturday's wife but in this story she is not because some people out there seem to obsessively prefer her being with Leonidas Van Rook. Leonidas Van Rook was also a ghost because he died yesterday in a car crash and then he was also shot and stabbed by somebody who was his rival and then he also was poisoned by Vincent Vladislav Argost because they don't seem to like each other.

"I demand pizza now!" complained Vincent Vladislav Argost as he pounded his large fist on the table which was in front of his current location. "I am hungry! I currently wish to consume pizza!"

"Shut up you old fart!" screeched Leonidas Van Rook who was a ghost as he ceased kissing his not-wife, Drew Saturday and fondling her succulent bosoms. "You are distracting me from my beautiful not wife, Drew!"

"That is not your wife, Van Rook! She has not re-married you though we are now divorced, so cease your talking!" yelled Doc. He was so angry he attempted to punch the ghostly man but the man was a ghost after all and his fist simply went through the ectoplasm. "This is strange, how are you able to hold my former wife then?" he complained.

"Silence! I wish to consume Chinese food!" yelled Vincent Vladislav Argost. "I wish to consume ramen, pork noodles, egg rolls, wantons, chicken fried rice, lo mein, crab Rangoon, meat sticks, fried dumplings, ect. because I am hungry!"

The strange collective of villains was waiting for Munya to return with the previously mentioned food items. They were getting very bored. They wished to know why he had not returned promptly. Just then the door opened and Munya walked in carrying bags and a pizza box.

"Finally! Munya, you wretch! Why are you so late!" Vincent Vladislav Argost demanded with a sneer as he ran up and grabbed the pizza box from his mute partner in crime's hand. Munya shrugged.

"Hey don't eat it all, you disgusting beast!" shrieked Leonidas Van Rook as he observed his fellow mafia suit starting to consume many pizza slices as once.

"What do you care, you are a ghost! Ghosts don't consume food like mortal beings!" Vincent Vladislav Argost stated with a laugh.

"Maybe not all ghosts, but I can!" responded Leonidas Van Rook as he took a slice of pizza and began chewing it. The pizza was visible through his ghostly wavering transparent form and was seen as it slid down his throat and fell to the floor at his feet. "Oops!"

"That's disgusting!" yelled Vincent Vladislav Argost with his mouth filled with masticated egg rolls.

"You are disgusting!" yelled back Leonidas Van Rook as he pointed.

"You both are disgusting!" shouted Drew. "And you both are making a mess all over the floor with your horrible manners."

"You two are making me sick," complained Doc as he was forced to watch the entire scene. "I think I've lost my appetite."

"Munya will clean it up when we are finished!" stated Vincent Vladislav Argost as he turned to observe more rice in the container below him.

He never saw Munya pulling out a tommy gun from the last brown paper bag he was carrying. The rest of the annoying villains were soon dispatched and he left to collect his money from Abbey Grey who had ordered the hit. He got no money for Van Rook however, because he was a ghost and could not be shot by a normal gun. He was left at the scene screaming out Drew Saturdays name while crying profusely until Drew also became a ghost and they were together for all eternity and had ghost children somehow.

**The End.**


	10. Tales and Ghosts: Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Tales and Ghosts

Summary: Tales and Ghosts

Half Real, Half Fake Genre: Parody/Tragedy

Note: I think this one is the closest I've gotten to a Take That. Mostly I just laugh at the amazing obliviousness of the authors that reside here. Because when it stops being funny, that's a bad sign and you should go sit down somewhere until you get happy again and can laugh at your fandoms. Or the fandoms of other people that you make fun of. :)

**Tales and Ghosts**

The manifested spirit of Vincent Vladislav Argost, the former Yeti and hopeful master of the world before he was cut short of his ideals and destroyed, found himself wandering the grounds of his ruined mansion. The blackened night sky was visible as the ceiling and walls had long since collapsed from the violent implosion caused by the combination of the two world's powers of Kur, the very which had sent him to his unfortunate but inevitable demise. He floated aimlessly surveying the damage to his once beloved former living quarters and scowled. He noticed something strange as he came across a room. There was a computer resting amidst the rubble. It seemed in working condition. He turned it on and gasped.

"How strange! This computer is untouched and in working condition even though there was a large violent implosion which destroyed roughly the entire grounds of my mansion! Also very strange is that I, now reduced to a transparent wandering ghoul trapped between the world of the living and the dead, am able to manipulate material objects of the living world! Perhaps I am a Poltergeist," muttered Vincent Vladislav Argost.

Filled with much woe and depressive thoughts and memories, the only thing the lost soul could think to do was search the internet for stories of his former enemies. He was shocked to discover that an entire television show had been made about their very lives, which included adventures of he himself and everyone he had known. "What is this?" he gawked as he came across several instances of reports on this bizarre feature, "The Secret Saturdays", which seemed to praise his former enemies highly and trivialize his former lively hood. He stumbled upon a large website that specialized in hosting something called "fanfiction." His curiosity peaked, he clicked upon the link and found himself in a heaven of stories. He was enjoy it at first, having loved to spend hours upon hours reading books but soon discovered that many of the tales featured were not of any sort of quality.

"Egads, what is this drivel?" Vincent Vladislav Argost growled as his yellow eyes came across word after misspelled word, nonsensical rambling about an overpowered little girl's author avatar, chat-speak which he found completely unintelligible, stories that had nothing to do whatsoever with the subject matter they were posted for, and postings claiming to be stories but which were just some thirteen year old girl crying about something uninteresting that she had posted as a "cross-entry" to a place called LiveJournal. Such blatant disregard for the works of written word!

Vincent Vladislav Argost found himself more appalled with each growing minute he spent wading through the dreck. Suddenly, he came across the alphabetical listing for "S" and noticed with grim realization, the "The Secret Saturdays" link. "Do I dare?" he questioned. He clicked it.

His eyes were immediately drawn to how numerous the tales were in the listing. "Well, at least these people seemed to be preoccupied with writing about the Saturdays! Let's see what foul idiocy they have made my former enemies play within!" he spoke with a snide laugh as he clicked a few of the a few hours of reading, his eyes began to burn along with his confused brain. "What? What is this? I cannot understand even with all my hundreds of years of gained wisdom," he muttered.

He didn't understand anything of the bizarre tales of the same little girl over and over again, her strange Kur powers which rivaled Zak Saturday's own, her instant acceptance into the Saturday's lives, her prominent feature in every single story, and her annoying ability to defeat him and even his former helpers at every single turn.

"Who is this girl? These girls. They seem to be everywhere, in every other story! I don't ever recall seeing them with the Saturdays, not once! They never defeated me and obtained Kur's power! What is this, these lies! These stories appear to have been written by the same devious little girl, going by a hundred different names!" he growled. "How dare they mock me so! It's one thing to make fools of the repulsive Saturdays, but I was a master of the malevolent! A vile villain. A suave and charismatic foe! Not some blowhard criminal who could be easily pushed out of the way by a little girl, of all things! If that were true, young Saturday would have defeated me before I ever made it to the stone in the first place!"

Vincent Vladislav Argost placed a clawed hand to his furry head, a headache building inside of it and pounding along his temples. He chose to continue searching the travesties of written words, hoping to come by something more interesting and less painful to see. He noticed that there were several instances of commentary on the stories in the form of reviews. He chose to click upon some featured in the popular works and attempted to read in hopes of discovering who would honestly think these stories decent enough to give them any commentary at all. He found dozens of incoherent ramblings posted to equally incoherent stories featuring those infernal little magical girls, all of which seemed to be posted by the same user under various different accounts. It seemed as though perhaps they really were multiple users, but were so similar in mind and vulgar grammar that they could not easily be told apart from each other. Most of the "reviews" were simply the little girls who had created the many bizarre, overpowered and completely ridiculous magical author avatar's simply praising each other's creations.

"Oh, I see now," growled Vincent Vladislav Argost. "These little children, these girls. They all think alike! This is why it is the same story and character over and over, despite any present alterations. This is why I secretly have always detested children!" He snarled, revealing his large fangs when a shocked look came over him. "Heavens, I nearly forgot that with all my time spend entertaining the sniveling little creatures, surely some of them must have been inspired to make even more mocking works of me!" He clutched his head and shook it. "Perhaps it isn't so bad," he muttered, his stomach beginning to twirl. "It can't be as bad as how they've depicted the Saturdays as minuscule sidekicks when they are the supposed heroes coming to save the world from evil," he spat. "I suppose somewhere, I have been rendered pointless and some new flamboyant villain has been made up for the new little hero girls to face off with!"

Vincent Vladislav Argost read on and on, desperate to come across stories that weren't the same repetitive drivel over and over. He discovered a few that shocked him despite being different. They were mostly of the heterosexual male characters suddenly being turned homosexual and starting up relationships with each other, even if it counted as purely incestuous or pedophilic in nature. Vincent Vladislav Argost gasped and clicked away immediately upon reading half of a story where Doyle Blackwell raped his own nephew, the young Saturday. He found another where Zak Saturday and the young and vile Zak Monday were engaging in sexual relations despite being far too under aged to even produce semen at that point in time. "Oh good lord, such debauchery! Such criminal work!" he groaned, feeling dirty even with his many years of murder and heartlessness. "These young females, they are sick in the head! How could such things interest them so?"

Vincent Vladislav Argost then came across several stories all from the same author despite the author's many attempts to change their name. He looked them over and attempted to comprehend them, but found it unbearable as they were written so very statically and beige prosed. They became more and more bizarre and featured many strange fetishes. He could not stop reading and continued on, entranced. He clicked upon the author's namesake and found that they had written nearly 500 stories for The Secret Saturdays.

"This person seems to be quite obsessed with us all, doesn't she," he muttered as he attempted to pick more of the large presentation of very odd and very short stories. He found them to be nearly just as repetitive as the magical girl stories, even several just copies of the former again and again with changed words and mildly altered scenarios. "These are, utterly terrible! Why has she written so many of them!" he growled. "Why does she keep demanding praise from others and lashing out at the other girls who have posted, despite not seeing her very flaws which would repulse anyone with a sane mind away from her stories! And yet she simply keeps on as if she has a vendetta against the users. A vendetta which is largely ignored, so it seems almost comical she keeps it going. Doesn't she understand she's only making herself look more and more like a larger fool?"

A laugh burst from Vincent Vladislav Argost's mouth as he stumbled upon story after story rendering the Saturdays into incomprehensible and boring characters, increasingly more out of character with everything they did. They engaged in the same dry, awkwardly written repetitive plots over and over, doing increasingly ridiculous things. Drew Saturday often disregarded her own husband, whom she was deeply in love with, for Leonidas Van Rook, his former employee, who she had briefly dated in college. They even got married and Drew became pregnant, or died under disturbing circumstances multiple times. They often became ghosts. They were featured in altered worlds that made little sense and encounters just the same. He found Leonidas Van Rook to be written humorously out of character, acting as a completely mentally incapable individual in far too many tales. It made Vincent Vladislav Argost chuckle, but he also felt disturbed by it. Leonidas Van Rook was more and more depicted as a crazed obsessed stalker over Drew Saturday.

"All right then, enough of these stories!" Vincent Vladislav Argost muttered as one eye increased in size. They were becoming simply far too ridiculous. He did not wish to read yet another story about him getting murdered or obsessing over Drew Saturday and then becoming a ghost and pledging their endless love for one another while Doc "Solomon" Saturday was no where to be found.

Vincent Vladislav Argost found himself growing fearful when he stumbled upon a story where he and Munya were depicted as lovers instead of casual co-workers, and strict master and loyal servant. What was more bizarre was that he was depicted as being incredibly out of character, so much so that it induced a primal rage within him. His clawed hands began to tremble at the keys as he found more and more of the stories exactly like the former. He had been reduced to a blubbering idiot who cried uncontrollably over everything and had homosexual sex with his henchman and servant repeatedly, or died repeatedly while wailing and crying for his former "lover". He observed multiple stories where he was depicted doing outrageous things like wandering the streets, buying every day fast foods, going on picnics, and being captured and tortured and humiliated by his former villainous companions, all of which he could and had already easily outsmarted and defeated. Everything that appeared in these terrible stories seemed to contradict his very being. It was as if he was looking into another dimension, and at another being who was simply not him. He grew outraged.

"What horrors! All of these stories are terrible!" cried Vincent Vladislav Argost. "There are so many horribly written lines, robotic character depiction making everyone seem to have severe mental dysfunctions, beige prose, structure mistakes, out of character behavior, repetitive nonsensical plots, sexual deviancy, not to mention all the other disgusting fetishes and underlying issues I think this young girl has!" he shouted. "Outrageous! This person dares complain about the status of the user base of this entire site's flaws and states over and over that they known nothing of the Saturdays or its characters when she herself knows nothing! And what is worse, the other people are just stroking their own egos with their little magical girl characters, and yes, some of them are making the heterosexual males into deviants to suit their own tastes, but this is simply to far! They are not making hundreds of terrible stories the same over and over again, all by themselves just to spite people! They are not shoving their out of character defaming pornography into people's faces and then demanding praise! You slander and disregard all other stories which do not feature Munya and I as confused, out of character, and mentally incompetent sexually perverse characters and scream that your stories are slandered by all the magical girls then you wonder why you receive little or no praise on your own! That is because no one wants to read what you have done to myself, my friend, and my enemies in your twisted little tales! Who would? What a terrible person to say and think such things and deliberately post stories by the hundreds that destroy is all and make fools of us. Do you wish people to hate us? Is this why there are no stories except for the little magical girls? Because they have grown tired of your writing these slanderous incomprehensible tales just as a lowly means of revenge, so they have taken up writing magical girls by the dozens just to take revenge upon you back? I wonder," he growled. He looked upon numerous "reviews" which were multiple pleas for this person to cease their actions, but they continued on. Several "reviews" were quite vitriolic, but he could only sympathize. "How terrible. I don't think these people did anything but make this person write even more stories like this."

He slammed down his hands on the keyboard and the screen flickered. "Terrible! Insulting! I can't be depicted as the real individual I am but this person can write multiple stories about me being a weak, disgusting, perverted, mindless, whining creature and humiliate me, but someone else cannot depict me as being a villain, even if I am easily beaten by a small magical girl, because then they are "destroying" everything! Anything that doesn't contain me as a perverted out of character homosexual who is deeply in "love" with my henchman and assistant Munya, dying multiple times in outrageous or ridiculous ways, crying my eyes out, or the Saturdays being depicted as autistic fools, Drew Saturday marrying Leonidas Van Rook who is stalking and obsessed with her, or any of the former being ghosts all the time, or doing something nonsensical is automatically terrible, in her opinion. There are multiple spiteful comments this author has made in general about anything she herself does not approve of which is terribly hypocritical. She does not seem to see this though several posters have told her. The "authors" may be making fools of The Secret Saturdays with their atrocious "writing" and perfect little author avatars butting in, ect. but they are just children! Their mistakes will be learned in time and they will come back and feel shame about what they have created but they at least were having some fun such as children do. They were not spitefully and intentionally trying to harm anyone or lash out with their stories. This person however, was! I surely hope one day someone out there tells this child off because what they are doing is wrong and despicable," he growled as he stood up and threw the chair over. He jabbed a claw onto the link in "Google" and found the author's many different places of residence on the internet. He gasped upon seeing the user's age. "My goodness, she isn't even a little girl? She's 28 years old? She is a woman!" he muttered, suddenly terribly uncomfortable.

Vincent Vladislav Argost snarled as he disregarded his uneasy feeling and was once again filled with rage. He used his large white furred and clawed ghostly hand to smash the computer.

**The End**


	11. Peanut Butter Cookies: Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Peanut Butter Cookies

Summary: Vincent Vladislav Argost and Munya enjoy some confections while entertaining their former enemies and friends. Hilarity ensues when several things go terribly wrong.

Real Genre: Humor/Parody

**Peanut Butter Cookies**

Vincent Vladislav Argost and his loveslave butler beast monster spider mutant beefcake Munya were currently engaged in some hot monkey on spider rod rubbing action as they observed their former enemies tied up against a wooden pole about to be roasted over a roaring pit of fire.

"Mom, I'm scared," cried Zak Saturday as he struggled in the ropes that bound him to the pole. He feared for his young life. His brother Fiskertrike, the bo-legged Sasquatch was next to him. He smelled like dung and urine and soaking wet sweaty fur. Kind of like Chewbacca would probably smell on a good day.

"WUZZAWUMPAWAUMP!" screamed the beast moments before Leonidas Van Rook and Abbey Grey shot the gentle giant in the eye with lasers and his brains spilled out onto the dirt below.

"We both shot him so who collects the money!" screamed the two money obsessed mercenary hunters before kicking each other in the legs and starting to brawl right there on the ground.

"You don't need money, you can have Drew Saturday!" cried Abbey Grey as she ran for the suitcase full of counterfeit bills.

Leonidas Van Rook gasped and realized what his former lover/enemy/ex-employee said was correct. He almost had forgotten for five seconds that he was morbidly obsessed with his former short one time only girlfriend, Drew Saturday, who he had dated once in college or something. He ran up to her even though there was fire in the way and screamed while crying. "DREWWWWWWWWWWWWW" he cried while sobbing.

"Oh Van Rook! I love you even though I don't and now I am going to leave my husband of several years for you right at this current moment because for some reason I'm equally obsessed with you. Remain with me for eternity!" she screamed and then observed her lover dying from the fire. But it was okay because he came back as a ghost two minutes later. They started kissing and dry humping.

"Drew!" screamed Doc Saturday, utterly appalled.

"Mom!" cried Zak with dismay.

Drew did not seem to care and then she beat her head violently against the pole she was tied to until her skull cracked and then two minutes later she also became a ghost and her and Van Rook held each other and then they kissed heavily before walking off a few feet away and stripping each other's ghost clothes off and then banging each other's brains out right there with heavy pants and moans and screams.

"DREEEEW!" screamed Doc and then he shit himself. "Oops!" he muttered as his tight muscular mocha butt cheeks squished around the foul substance. He kind of liked it and it scared him. But it also turned him on.

The Komodo dragon and pterosaur were being roasted over the fire and eaten by Munya and Vincent Vladislav Argost because they were bloodthirsty primal beasts incapable of petty emotions several people out there seem to be fond of depicting them as having which is terrible in itself. Abbey Grey stripped herself of her top and suit and went naked, rolling in the piles of money. All the other Secret Scientists nobody cared about came out and started dancing but then they all were slaughtered by local cryptids which had no name because nobody cares. Their bodies were torn and severed and scattered about to and fro. They shan't be missed because nobody cared.

A young girl who was stunningly beautiful and radiant and blond and rainbow and silver haired and a goddess and she was also Kur from another dimension and was a wolf/dragon/nekomatta/alien hybrid who was also the daughter of Sephiroth and Sol Badguy from the future came prancing in to save everyone with her magical god powers of love and devotion and Suedom, but she walked past a mirror and got distracted by her own beauty so she didn't.

"Munya, cease your licking of my inner fur and touch my supple monkey flesh!" Vincent Vladislav Argost demanded as his eternal lover mutant spider monster man slave started using his disgusting long slimy tongue to suck the hairless flesh around his monkey hole. He reached down and grabbed the basket of cookies they had baked together this morning because that is what they enjoyed doing together when they were severely out of character and Munya took a peanut butter cookie in his huge trembling hand and carefully tenderly stuffed it into his lovers puckered hole. "OH YES. I LOVE COOKIES! REMAIN WITH ME FOR ALL ETERNITY!" Vincent Vladislav Argost screamed as he came on Drew Saturday's corpse.

"Hey watch what you're doing, you freak!" yelled Drew before Van Rook jammed his ghostly meatstick back down her sexy throat.

"Shut up woman, don't make me pee down your throat again!" hissed Vincent Vladislav Argost as he backed dat ass up against the crumbling confection and Munya urgently stuffed another into the velvety vicinity.

"Somebody, save me please," begged Zak Saturday as the flames rose higher towards his tender legs. Suddenly he let out a gasp as Doyle Blackwell entered the scene over dramatically.

"What the shit is going on here?" screamed Doyle Blackwell as he appeared to save the day but then found himself turned on by all the hot psychotic loving. "Don't worry, Zak. I'll save you!" he cried and used his trusty jet pack to jet pack over the jet pack and jet pack so he could jet pack and save Zak. So he did.

"Doyle!" exclaimed Zak with happiness as Doyle took him and freed him from the ropes and then flew a couple of feet before landing and giving his nephew a hug.

"No problem, little man. But now I can't help but be turned on by all this sex," muttered Doyle as he stared his nubile young nephew up and down and felt his super tight pants getting even tighter.

"Doyle, what's up? Why are you looking at me like that?" asked Zak innocently moments before his innocence was shattered and Doyle threw him to the ground and started grinding him. "Doyle, no wait, stop! We're related!" But try as Zak might, he found himself getting dirty minded and turned on really bad even though he'd never experienced anything sexual in his young life, and it was also against the law, and nature. "Doyle!" he screamed and started grinding back until Doyle took both their pants off and then he jammed his shaft into the young boy's waiting eager mouth.

Now it was a raging orgy of debauchery as Doc continued shitting himself and trying to rub it all over while grunting and groaning, the two ghost lovers humped as hard as they could trying to shatter the world's mortal coil and a couple preachers showed up to try and exorcise them away but kept failing because Drew's a milf and everyone was terrified to look away from the filthy sight of furry love as the purple spider beast hammered into his monstrous yeti lover while shoving peanut butter cookies into his many orifices until he couldn't breath but Munya suddenly died for some unexplained reason other than it was funny and Vincent Vladislav Argost started crying uncontrollably because that's completely in character for him just like all of this was, and he kept crying and crying while holding his lover's feces scented corpse. And then that fish guy showed up to try and say something but Abbey Grey shot him and cooked him and ate him and he was delicious because he tasted like tuna. And all the fangirls orgasmed when they saw Doyle put it in Zak's tight little pooper because it was cute and loving and not at all terrible and they didn't have mental problems. And then that wonderful girl who is my made up character named Malisyya Rivendale McTwistaNipple (TM, don't steal) used her magical powers to marry everyone at once and save the day after the mirror broke because somebody threw a beer bottle at it. Then she became the next Ben 12 but she was so good they made her Ben 13.

And everyone lived happily ever after. Even though they didn't.

**The End.**


	12. Zak Saturday saves the world: Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Zak Saturday saves the world

Summary: Zak must save the world from the forces of evil.

Half Fake, Half Real Genre: Adventure/Humor

Inspired by the great Peter Chimaera

**Zak Saturday saves the world**  
><span> By Glorious Eight Headed Dragon<span>

Chapter 1: Chaos in Washington D.C.

The wind flowed, spraying like orgasmic release into Zak's face but he could not be bothered. The world needed to be saved because an evil madman/yeti had stolen the power of Kur from the mirror dimension that could destroy it! Zak has a hard time getting to the evil creature's lair where the creature had the Fang. "It's too late," he smiled. It was an evil smile that he held the Fang with. "No, it's not too late you monster! I will destory you!" yelled Zak, and he charged. And he gave up his good Kur power to kill him. The world was saved from evil. "Hooray, I saved the world!" he shouted. "The world is safe and evil Kur is gone forever!"

Chapter 2: Zak goes home and dies

But Zak found on the way home, he could not live without the power of Kur which had been stripped from him. It was too late like the villain said. He had already lost the will to live and could not talk to cryptids and save them and they were trapped on the island that they were trapped on. There was nothing he could do. So he went home and died.


	13. TSS Endless Battle: Chapter 13

Chapter 13: The Secret Saturdays Endless Battle

Summary: After the fight for saving the world, they fight towards space.

Half Fake, Half Real Genre: Drama/Humor

Inspired by the great Peter Chimaera

**The Secret Saturdays - Endless Battle**

Zak was having rough day at school and his bagel for lunch did not taste good. "No, I am hungry and this is not good!" and threw the bagel and it collided with the unfortunate head of an innocent passer by who was also male.

"Hey," the guy said. "This bagel is having a bad day." And then he slipped in cream cheese.

"Sorry." And so Zak went to his airship and he flew away to be by himself in Antarctica.

"HAHAHAHAHA," said Argost who was waiting there for him. "I have returned and I will kill the earth with Kur power!"

They fought and Zak won but Argost imploded his anti-Kur powers when they touched and Antarctica blew up.

"No!" Zak was mad at all the cryptid penguins died.

Argost took his jet and flew to space. Zak's airship was not for space and he went speaking with talk to his parents who fixed it. "Now I can fly to space combat!"

And they fought in space where they battled with giant lasers and space cryptids like Pokemon until both ships were all damaged and none could move.

"No, I cannot die here," Argost said and he was stuck there in space.

"Thank you." Zak went back to earth where they finally had peace.

Perhaps the end?


	14. SS Halfway to Sunday: Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Secret Saturdays: Halfway to Sunday

Summary: It's a Secret Saturdays fanfiction so if you've been confused.

Fake Genre: Adventure

Inspired by the great Peter Chimaera

**Secret Saturdays: Halfway to Sunday**

Author's Nose:

Wadi Fan (which is possibly autistic 28 year old girl like Chris-Chan but a girl) said other users here was writing stories about Secret Saturdays and don't know anything about them but we decide to write anyway.

CHAPTER 1: WHAT DOES IT MEAN

18 year old Zak Saturday was studying in his was studying labratories.

Fellow Secret Scientist co-worker Epsilon said, "Zak Saturdad, what are you working on?"

"I have discovered new possibly spirit of Kur leftover in other dimension but is so volatile it does not have a cryptid control but demonic control so we must observe with caution."

Just then a Mary Sue went on Epsilon's head. "OH NO WHERE DID MARY SUE COME FROM!" screamed Epsilon and tried to get off. Zhak went to gets his Claw but it was missing so had to borrow a screwdriver. He stabs the Mary Sue and Epsilon was okay but he had been partially rendered into an anime bishonen and turned 59% homosexual.

"Watch where you stab that thing, just kidding thanks! Hey, you want to hook up sexually?"

"HAHA," they laughed.

And then they both had gay man sex because it's hot and makes other people angry.

"Hey, where did Kur power?"

"It is been stoled!"

"We must get back!"

"Okay, after more butt sex."

And then they had more butt sex.

CHAPTER 2: THEY RECROVER THE KUR POWER AND REGAIN THEIR FORMERLY ESTABLISHED HETEROSEXUALITY BUT THEY DON'T

Zak and Epsilon arrived at the Weird World scene where bad guy from the show said, "I have taken the Kur power and it will cause mass destruction!"

"NO, NOT ALL OF ATLANTA!" Which was target of where they were and it was nice place but I don't know anybody from there.

"IF YOU DO NOT ADHEAR TO MY WISHES"

"NOT QUICK ENOUGH!" and the Kur power was released and the place was slowly become warped with evil and chaos and sexual deviancy and urine.

"You must escape out of here with increased agility!" But Epsilon was already torn asunder.

CHAPTER 3: DISTRACTING IMMOLATION

"This is Zak Saturday, how do we stop Kur? I know!"

And he used Miranda Grey's Portal Gun to push Weird World into a portal so Atlanta wouldn't be infested by evils of Kur and it would only go off harmless and drown in the Pacific ocean.

"Hooray, I succeded in securing another season!"

"Not so fast, Mr. Saturday! I will see you canceled."

And Zak was burned by super hot fires from out of nowhere.

"No, it can't end like this!" screamed Zak.

What happens next? I'm not sure, but I will possibly take requests one day.

Thanks for reading. Please get off your computers and go outside for a while.


	15. Doc Has A Problem: Chapter 15

Chapter 15: The Secret Saturdays Doc Has A Problem

Summary: Doc has a humorous problem that grows out of control.

Half Fake, Half Real Genre: Suspense/Humor

Inspired by Peter Chimaera's writings and bizarre deviantArt fetishes. Spelling errors were intentional.

**The Secret Saturdays - Doc Has A Problem**

It was a Tuesday. Doc Saturday was sitting in his was table sat. He was looking up cryptoids. He was having a problem with his stomach. It would not could not stop woozing.

"My stomache has pains inside of it, I must have ate something which was not agreeing with my digestive tract," yelled Doc. He unleashed a mighty fart suddenly just as his precious wife of many years Drew Saturday, she had incredible boobs too, she walked in and gapsed.

"DOC, WHAT THE HELL! IT SMELLS LIKE FART IN HERE!" Drew screamed with sadness as she gagged.

"I know," Doc admitted sadly as he was depressed about his cancerous fart. "I can't help it. Something has gone wrong in my intestines today, it seems, my beloved wrif."

Suddenly without warning his stomach began to balloon like someone was pumping air into it with a large air pumping device for pumping air and infalting things with. "MY GOD, WHAT'S GOING ON?" Doc screamed in surprise and shock and also horror as he wasn't not knowing what had going on.

"Doc, you are inflating? Did you consume a burrito?" asked Drew shyly.

"No, not a burrito!" demanded Doc back to her as he grappled with his large belly. It looked like he had now become pragent. "It's getting too big!" he groaned and had to take a chair while holding the massive air filled gut.

"What is this?" Drew wondered mystically. She felt it was too hot and unzipped the zipper on her tight uniform suit so she could feel more air on her boobies.

Doc kept on struggling hard as his belly inflated massively for unknown reasons. Then suddenly again like before his thighs and butt began doing the same. "What is this?" he yelled as he was propelled forward onto his chair by the engrossed size of his posterior and muscles. They were suddenly becoming full, with his legs becoming overtly muscular more so than they had ever been when he worked out and his buttocks filling with pleasant fat. "DREW!"

"Doc!" Drew called back, amazed and shocked at what was happening to her husband as she watched with her own eyes. Juts then, Drews boobs began to enlarge at a rapidly fast rate. They became the size of watermelons and larger still. "What is going on here? Why am I growing?" she wondered out load as she grasped the gigantic knockers in her dainty hands. "This is so strange!" Her buttocks suddenly inflated and expanded to a robust size, about the same as her husbands. "Oh!" she groaned. It did not feel so bad.

"Drew, whats going on here?" shouted Doc as he fell to the floor unable to mantain his balance for longer.

"I don't know!" yelled Drew. She fell to the floor and bounced felling the gentle squish of her boobs. "Oh!" she exclaimed with blushing.

Just then Zak walked in and gasped. "Mom, dad, what?" he yelled.

"Zak! Something is oging on here, don't come closer it might be some kind of virus," said Doc.

"Run honey! This is not something you should be involved with!" yelled Drew.

"Okay," said Zak and he runned back to get away.

"Uh oh Drew," said Doc.

"Now what!" asked Drew madly.

"Well." Doc tried to start but then he unleashed another fart which tore open a hole in the wall.

"Never mind," he said.

"DOC!" screamed Drew as she started to cough.

And then Fiskerton came in and started rubbing up against both of them and they got really really mad.

**HE ENTD**


	16. Like Wild Fire: Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Like Wild Fire

Summary: A story of a very special girl and new adventures she goes on with the Saturdays.

Fake Genre: Romance/Family

Note: This was a bizarre attempt to lure out Maria Suestress fangirls, and it surprisingly worked. I can't recall how many favorites and alerts this received with only one chapter. But it got a saddening amount and two comments requesting I make more chapters, and that it seemed like a very good idea for a story. The simple answer to that is. No. No it is not a good idea for a story. It is in fact a terrible idea for a story, and worse since Mary Sues are so prevalent as it is. So there. I never intended to write much more for this. I just wanted to see how many fangirls with poor taste would become attracted to it.

**Secret Saturdays - Like Wild Fire**

Hello, my name is Kaeryn Gallespie. I am by no means an ordinary girl. You see when I was a baby, I was abandoned by my parents who nobody seems to know much about and left on the doorstep of a monastery in the jungles of Peru where I was adopted by some monks. They raised me and taught me a lot of things and I mastered everything very quickly. When I was five I noticed I could make fire with my mind, and also assume the form of any animal I wished, including cryptids. The monks were very surprised but they were a culture steeped in mysticism, so they helped me train my powers and how to hide them from the general public because people don't usually like the idea of "witches". That's what I would have been called if anybody knew about my powers. I grew up to age 15 and then it was time they thought for me to try to assume a more normal life like any girl my age, so they helped send me to school.

I assumed from then on my life was going to be very hum drum and normal but I was so very wrong. One day at school, my school was attacked. No not by students with a gun, or even terrorists. It was attacked by a giant mutant cryptid beast that should not have even existed in the first place. The door broke down and everyone screamed as the creature ran in and started setting everything on fire. It was looking for someone, too. That person was me.

I never expected to be helped by them, the Secret Saturdays, who suddenly showed up in their airship from outside to help rangle up this wayward angry cryptid monster, and that was the start of my exciting adventure!

**Thankfully, this will never ever be completed. But don't fear, because there's enough Maria Susanna Bonanna Rosanna Danna stories to go around as it is. :)**


	17. Zak Has A Big Problem: Chapter 17

Chapter 17: The Secret Saturdays Zak Has A Big Problem

Summary: Zak just can't seem to stop eating!

Real Genre: Humor

Inspired by more bizarre fetishes and one person who suggested on the other Doc story that I make one that had Zak. Which was creepy yet amusing.

Note: Bat Fairy Person from deviantArt randomly commented this fic and sarcastically called me a hilarious, mature and talented author. Well, if you've been reading my work you would have known that already. I suppose if I'd added some physically descriptive vore and Care Bears, you'd have been fine with it. :)

**The Secret Saturdays - Zak Has A Big Problem**

It was a Thursday. The sky was blue and the air was warm like in summer but it was fall so it wasn't really all that warm. Zak Saturday was standing on his was chair stood. He was playing with Fisketron the tall anthropomorphous furbag and his pet dog who wasn't a dog, he was a komodo dragon whose name was Komodo. However on this particular peculiar day Zak developed a rather strange problem. He was very hungry and could not stop eating. He was eating several burritos and then Fisktron gave to him a bunch of McDonald's food he had gotten at the local drive through.

"Thanks Fisk. I don't know why I'm so hungry but I have to eat more because I need to eat because I'm so hungry," yelled Zak as he stuffed several Big Macs into his mouth at the same time.

Fiskteron went "UGGA WUGGA WOO!" which probably would have meant something like "EXCUSE YOU" in english if he could speak it. But alas he could not.

Zak kept on eating, undeterred by his giant furred companion. He began consuming several packets of fries and ketchup and Mcnuggets and apple pies and a McFlurry that has M&Ms in it and a McFishwich even though it tasted like pure corn decorated feces. Fisk watched him eat and eat and eat and his eyes went wide. He unleashed a mighty fart suddenly which blew the mighty furred beast away and he rolled down the local hill screaming. Zak just laughed with his mouth full of chewed food.

"Sorry Fisk!" he said and ate more foods.

"GRRR," said Komodo because all he can do is growl and hiss.

"No, Komodo, this is my food!" yelled Zak as he gathered his foods protectively and continued to fill himself.

His body became larger and larger the more he devoured. Komodo even noticed it and his eyes got big. Zak's stomach was completely getting fatter and fatter and so was his butt and his cheeks so he looked like a small portly Chinese boy only he wasn't Chinese, he was Mulatto. Then the Arabic thief girl Wadi showed up.

"ZAK, WHAT THE HELL IT SMELLS LIKE MCDONALDS FARTS ALL OVER THE PLACE! WHY ARE YOU EATING SO MUCH FOOD?" Wadi screamed with disgust and envy as she gagged. She dropped several wallets she had stolen from people walking around the park.

"I know," Zak admitted funly as he was happy about his silly predicament. "I can't help it. I feel like I need to keep stuffing myself like it is some kind of bizarre fetish many people out there will enjoy."

"Who would enjoy that?" asked Wadi as she picked up some wandering french fries and stuffed them into her thief pouch before Zak noticed. She picked up a stray pickle and started rubbing it against her face. "Oh my Allah, I love pickles!" she cried.

Suddenly without warning Zak's stomach began to balloon like someone was pumping fat into it with a large fat pumping device for pumping fat and stuffing things with.

"THIS IS SO COOL AND I AM REALLY HUNGRY STILL!" Zak yelled in satisfaction because his enlarged regions felt really good and it was awesome and the food also was filled with tasty addictive MSG and he needed to eat it more because the government wanted him to.

"Zak, how did you start getting so fat so fast?" asked Wadi confused with her pickle.

"I don't know. I guess from sitting around and playing video games all day or looking up garbage on the internet and sitting in a chair all day long," responded Zak back to her as he sat his five milkshakes on top of his large belly and jammed more sandwiches into his small child like mouth along with fries and honey. "Pretty soon I'll be able to SUMO WRESTLE!" he shouted.

"Pretty soon you won't be able to fit through the doors of anywhere ever again and we will need a pick up truck to come get you and take you away," said Wadi and rolled her eyes. Then she went back to caressing her delicious shiny sweet and sour pickle. "I love you, pickle," she whispered lovingly.

Fistrokon jogged back up the hill and he was mad. "WUGGGGA WUZZZZARRRUMP!" he screamed and shooked his large rangy monkey arms.

"I didn't mean to, Fisk! Shut up already!" yelled Zak and just kept eating until he was super fat and growing moobs. He looked like the Buddha of China now except he had hair and still wasn't Chinese.

"You farted so hard he blew out into traffic? Zak, you're weird. I think you should go to the doctor," said Wadi as she played with the pickle on the grass.

"No, I'm fine and so is Frisk. See?" Zak said and he pointed at Fisk who was perfectly fine except he had rolled into and smashed into a hot dog stand when he landed and his fur was filled with hot dogs relish and mustard and ketchup and onions and chili and cheese.

Zak looked down and saw that he has devoured all his fast food and there was only crumbs. He was so hungry he started looking at Fisertron. "Fisk! You look so tasty," Zak drooled as he stood up and waddled over to the furred lummox.

"Wunka wumba?" asked the animal manimal. He knew trouble was a foot or perhaps a canckle and started running.

"COME BACK FISK! I'M HUNGRY!" yelled Zak waddling after the beast like Michael Moore after a fine slice of butter dipped ham on a pull string.

"This is getting out of hand," complained Zadi who rolled with her pickle and placed it on her face and then she touched it with her tongue.

After an hour and a half Zak came thundering back up the hill with more rolls than which with he had started when he ate all that food. And he had hairs in his mouth so you can figure out what happened. But in case you can't. "Ha ha I ate Fiskertron!" Zak laughed.

"So," said Wadi.

Zak looked at the delicious pickle Wadi had. "Wadi, give me that pickle! I'm going to eat it!" declared Zak. He held out his hand.

"No! You can't have Mr. Pickle!" screamed Wadi as she got up and held her precious pickle out of reach of the hungry lard boy.

"Give me the pickle!" yelled Zak and his rolls and chins shook like Jello Jigglers.

"No!" screamed Wadi and she started running away.

"GIVE ME PICKLE! ME EAT PICKLE!" screamed the ten thousand ton Zak as he ran after her.

But then she stopped because she saw the police looking for her and Wadi stood still for a minute and just as she did Zak tripped and fell on top of her and crushed her along with eleven people who were just waiting for the bus to come.

And then when the bus came Zak ate the bus because it had ads for pizza on it.

**EL FINITO**


	18. Night of Reconsidering: Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Eve of Reconsidering: The Final Days of Drew and Doc Saturdya

Summary: Drew cheated Doc and now she's departing with Van Rook to France. Will Doc let the couple have a pleasant new life together, or he will intervene on their plans?

Real Genre: Parody

Inspired by the great ComicsNix.

Note: Bat Fairy Person from deviantArt randomly commented this fic and said I had "got to be the most angry and hatefu-souledl (sic) mother-fucker" she'd ever known. Which is strange since she doesn't know me at all, and is basing all of that solely on my redo of ComicsNix's work. So he'd be that hatefu-souledl (sic) mother-fucker. Not I. He came up with it. I wish I could come up with something that good. But thanks for the comment. You draw vore and No Heart's pubic hair. :)

**Night of Reconsidering: The Final Days of Drew and Doc Saturdya**

Drew Saturday was cheating Doc Saturday with a man called Leonidas Van Rook. It's been a long time since she sleept the first time with Doc and produced baby Zak. She got scared the first time but, as the time went on, the fear of being discovered disappeared. Now she's almost telling Doc what she's been doing for the past five years.

"Doc, I have something to tell you." said Drew visibly distraught.

"What is it Doc?"

"It's that.,.." Drew knew if she tell the truth, everything from this day on would be different. This scared her musch, but she wanted to live a happy life with Doc fro now on.

"What is worring you Drew"

"Doc, you know we've been through many things toghter..."

"Yes?"

"And youhave been such a good husband to me all of this time."

"Doc, what are you talking abou?" Dooc asked nervosly to Drew.

"But now, I think this isn't going anywhere anymore Doc..."

"Drew..."

"I dont' love you anymore Doc, I love Van Rook, and I'm going to Franch with him!" cried Drew with so much pain in her hearth she perspired and loathed herself for what she was doing.

"No Drew, don't say that, I love you!"

"It's over Doc, goddbye."

Drew picked her purse, mounted on Van Rook's jet pack and they went to the ariport. Doc got really sad, but got angry, so angry he clutched his hands with so much rage it started to bleed. He dont know what to do now. But it isn't going to end like thi, he wil get his revenge!

Four months have passed last time Drew talked to Doc, she is happy with Van Rok at Paris at Frence. She never been happier her entire life with a man. The two are at the hotel room, in front of the Effle Towers. The landscape is gourgeous and and the streets are beatiful. The Ark du Trumph is magnificent too. The birds all fly over it in a dance of lust and passion and pooping.

"Drew, I love you mon amour"

"Oh mon mercenaros!" she huged Van Rook firmly and affectionately and with tightness and passion. Van Rook returned the affected hug with so much love he started to kiss Drew passionately. His lips were full of love and blisters and chapping but it was ok. The bruteness of the manly man was so manly and at the same time so tender. He started to move his hands all over Dred's body, starting with white hair. Suck a soft and snowful hair, it is like a cotton field full of love and desire. Them, he reached her back, that was soft too and full of comfort. That back suffered so much pain from the villains which he was once but not no more, but now he would never let that happen again. He loves her so much.

Them, he reached her hidden nipplets. They were full, pointing upwards and were very comfortable. Van Rook put his face there, and stroked her gently with his cheeks full of short beard.

"Oh Van Rook, you bread hurts me a little, but I like it"

"Drew, you are so beatiful"

Drew was moving her hands too all over Van Rook's strong body. He was full of hair, and was so hairy. His veins were pulsating of blood and lust. She knew what he wanted. Her hands started to move to his manly conceled organ. She felt it, so erect, pulsating life and love.

"Oh mister Rook. You body is so strong! It's made from waight lifting?"

"No clerise, it's natural from rusha!"

She rubbed his big man chest with so much lust. Van Rook liked it. He stated to moan and moan like a not gay man but a real man.

"Do you like amore mio?"

"Yes Drew you are wonderful"

They put of their clothes and started to make it out. Rook put his sword of love inside her lushful snowfield.

"Oh, it's painful! Stop Rook!"

"What is it Drew?"

"I never told you, but, I'm virgin..."

"Virgin? How? An Doc?"

"When we were going to the bed, every time he started to unclothe himself to make out with me, I used my magic of monks to produce a protective so he would never know."

"But then how was Zak?"

"He is an adopted who I picked for the perfect hair match. Doc never knew."

"So all these years you preserved your viginity to me?"

"Yes Rook"

"Oh my love!"

Rook put his manly member slowly inside of Drew's suplle lotus flower. He went on very slowly and amorous. The blood started to flow from her very womb, reaching the white sheets covering the bed. It all started to turn red, like the immense love they had bteween themselvexs.

So the moment arrived. Rook and Drew reached theirs climaxes and they both cummed in joy and passion. Their hearts were on fire, their minds reached the nirvana of pleasure and joyness. The happieness was total, absolute. That was the most unique moment in their lives. Everything went to dissolve and only the two were living on this beautiful world of hidden cryptits.

The couple was very happy, but what they didn't knew was tht Doc was observing. Yes, all of the time, he was looking throught the window, watching every movement d Drew and Rook were doing, all of their affection, the love, penetration moment, everything. He coudln't keep that to himself anymore.

When Drew and Rook started to dress themselves up, Doc kicked the dorr and shoot both Rook's arms and legs, his torso and his neck.

"AAAAAARRGH!" screamed Rook with the fury in his hearth.

"NOOOO, VANT ROOK!" screamed Drew, with tears sprying all over the now blood covered floor.

"Drew, you bitch, yo see what you made me done?" scremed Doc in pain and rages passion and hate against drew.

"I's so mad you! WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?" Dick shooted

"NOOOOO!" screamed again Drew going to help Rook.

Them, Doc kicked her shouldr, throwing her at the wall. H picked a syringe that was in his pocket and injected the strange and unknwon liquid inside Rook's veins.

"What is this?" asked Rook.

"This serum will make yours paralyze and Drew will be mine again!" shouted Doc at the height of his madness.

"Stop Doc, you will kill him! He bleds so badly and no hostipals close, he will be dead in four hours!"

"That's what I want, but before you die, you will see your little whore being mine again!" shouted again a out of his mind Doc.

Doc grabbed Drew and threw her on the blood filled bed. He started to pull his pants of, and teared off Drews clothes.

"No Doce, please!"

"You will see what a man I am because I am a man!"

He started to push his member against Drew's member causing her much pain. Doc thrusted very hard and fast inside Drew'a and her screams could be heard from the other side of the street.

"AHHHHHHHHH, it's hurting Doc, stop, you'r e going to rupture me!

"That not what you like Drew? I'm being tender with with you, but if you want more, so be it"

Doc kept moving on and on faster and faster, bruising all of Drew's inner uterus. Blood started to spill from it, covering all of Doc's pelvic area. He them started to spank her with all of his might. He used his power glove on Drew and started to roast her skin. Her skin started to open an with all the bruise and spanking she was receiving. Rook could only look with tears in his eyes as his love was being bruttaly shattered in front of his own eyes. The, Doc took from his pocket her sword, and started to cut off pieces of Drew's flesh.

"NO, NO, NO...ARGh..NO...STOP!"

"Be calm Drew, I'm just cleaning you from the sins you commited, only cutting off flesh that made contact with that Rusian pig over there on the ground!"

With his power glove. Doc burned patches of Drew's pale perfect skin and cut off them. He saw all that and got very proud of himself. He started to lick Drew's exposed raw flash with much lust and desire. He them put his fingers inside Drew's exposed flesh on her nipples, and rottated his fingers causing discomfort to Drew.

"DOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCC!"

Doc them introduced both of his hands inside Drew's womb, Annihilating her member and opening her in half, from the member to her navel.

But them, he felt something. What was that, then a fetus came out on his arms. Doc wasn't understanting. She wasn't supposed to be pregnant, today was the only day Rook and her got toghter and made love.

"What tihs Dew? WHAT's THIS?"

The brutally injuried Drew tried to talk, but was felling much pain. She suffered third degree burns and her eyes were bleeding, filled with pus. Abcesses formed on her internal organs and her arms was covered with exploding beetles and mongolian death worms.

"Talk WOMAN!" screamed a madness ridden Doc, with the alomst dead baby on his hands.

With much effort, Drew talked. "Doc, this...is...your...real...son..."

Doc put his hands on his head. He couldn't belive what has happened. He killed his own son, flesh from his flesh, bones form his bones, blood FROM HIS BLOOD! Rook, that was hearing and seeing everything got enraged. Drew had told him he was the first. But she lied. She already slept with Doc, and was cheating on him all along. He was weak, but managed to pull himself up.

"Drew, you see what you have done?" screamed Rook

Drew coudn't move her lips anymore, they were being eatten by cryptid parasites bugs Docthrowed at her during his slaughtering. Her jaw bones were completely exposed and nerves were outside of her body, trying to move a now amputed arm. A pool of Drew's blood were covering the entire room.

Rook them put his knive out of his sheth and attacked Doc.

"DIE DOC!" and them, disemboweled all of his internal organs with one simple cut.

"ARRRGH!" screamed Doc, trying to put togeter his bowels inside his stomach again. Rook them proceded to attack his nemsis one more time.

"No Reook, please, I killed my accidet son, have mercy!"

"I have no mercy for a shit of fuck like you!" and them, with one clear cut form his knive, beheaded Doc's head from his neck. It flied all over the room and fell on the blood covered ground. His head was live for some few seconds, and tried to scream, but couldn't, because he had no throath anymore. Blood got out of his eyes, and he whent unconcious.

"Now Drew ts time to pay for your sins" shouted a loud Vad Rook. Drew could do nothing, only look as Rook started to eat her alive. Rook was hungry, hungry for love, and he thought the only way he could rettain his love for Drew was having her inside him. He chomped a half of her foot, and proceded from there, smashing her foot bones with his perly teeth. The agony was unbearable, but Drew could'nt do anytihng. Her nose started to bleed too, and his auditory senses faded out. She was mute, and now deaf. Only his eyes were working, but she wished they weren't, becuse she was looking herself being eaten alive by her greatest love.

Rook reached Drew's womanly organ, and stopped. He remembered the child that has been withdrawn from her womb, and for a moment, he stopped. What he was doing. Even if the child wasn't his son, he could forgive Drew. She had no guilt in what she did. But it was late, he comdemned his wife to the painful and abhorrent fate of seeing her love and son being destroied. No, it must end now.

Rook them, looking at Drew's eyes, said:

"Sorry Drew, I didn't meant to..." and them, punctured her skull with his blood soaked knife, terminating hr agony. It was all over, he was going to die. Only fifteen minutes from now, and he'll be dead. Van Rook threw himself on the ground, and started to cry, and he took out a bottle and drinked it, and poisoned his body, and them, he died faster.

The End.

**Praise be to Nix. :)**


	19. Doyle: Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Doyle

Summary: Doyle story

Half Fake, Half Real Genre: Romance/Humor

Inspired by the bizarre fanfiction, legolas by laura. Originally titled legolas, so I titled mine simply Doyle.

Note: coopt98 said this was very cool. You have wonderful taste, my boy/girl/whatever. Also, you cannot instantly recognize hideous works of fan fiction. The cut off was also intentional.

**Doyle**

Doyle was driving along the woods and one day he found an abandoned baby along the roadside wraped in clothes so he got off his motorcycle and went to the baby and then Doyle said, "Who left you here little baby?"and then the baby just cryed and then Doyle picked her up and hold her and then the baby stoped crying and then Doyle said, "Your name is going be Amethyste" and then Doyle and the baby went onto the motorcycle and went back to the secret base where he lived. Doyle said, "Van Rook I found this little baby in the woods by the road" and then Van Rook got up and walked down and said, "Somebody put baby in the woods and to die probably because it was weak and would cost too much money to raise go put it back!" Then Doyle said, "No we are going to keep her" and then Doyle was happy for some reaseing and Van Rook was mad and he said, "Fine but you're taking care of it and all the money for it you will pay."

16 Years Later

Doyle got up and went into Amethyste's room and said, "Morning"and then Amethyste said, "Good moring too". Then Doyle said, "What's the matter?" and then Amethyste said, "Doyle I want to know how to ride a motorcycle". Then Doyle said, "Okay" and then Doyle said, "First you get dressed and have something to eat and then we will go for a motorcycle ride lesson". Mean while Van Rook and a faceless mook was flying towards where Doyle lived and then mook said, "Van Rook I did not know your partner Doyle had a youngest sister" and then Van Rook said, "He doesn't she's adopted because he's stupid nd likes wasting money". Mean while at Weird World Argost was planing to kidnap girl but not Doyle. Then the henchman of the Argost came and said, "I'll get her for you master" in sign language and then Argost said, "Yes you can".

Mean while Doyle and Amethyste were motorcycling and then Amethyste said, "Doyle whos that" and then Doyle looked and it was Van Rook and the unknown mook. Doyle said, "That is Van Rook and a guy I don't know who is working with him I think his name is Frank" and then the guy who might be Frank said, "Doyle" and then Doyle said, "Hey guy long time no seen" and then guy said, "How are you" and then Doyle said, "I am fine" and then Van Rook said, "What's her name" and then Doyle said, "She's Amethyste I found her in the woods by the road side when she was just a baby". Amethyste was shy at first and then Doyle said, "Amethyste come and meet my boss Van Rook and his other worker Frank I think" and then Amethyste said, "Hello I'm Amethyste". Doyle said "She is gonna be a good mercenary one day"and then Frank who's name really was Frank so it was good guess said, "She is so cute! I like your outfit" and then Doyle said, "That will be my fault" and then Van Rook said, "Why?" and then Amethyste said, "He bought me it that's why" and then Doyle looked around and said, "Okay I think we should go back to the hideout now" and then Amethyste said, "Okay I can feel something bad Doyle".

Doyle said, "Are you staying for the night Frank?"and then Frank said, "Yes" and then they had coffee and went to bed. During the night Doyle ask Van Rook to keep an eye on Amethyste's room but he doen't. Mean while Munya climed up the window and grabed Amethyste and then Amethyste woke up and screamed and then Van Rook came out and said, "Oh oh I forget to check" and then Doyle ran down the hall. Then Doyle said, "Damn it where is Amethyste?" and then Van Rook said "Look there's web on the window it's Munya which meant Argost took her".

Mean while Munya was back at Weird World and then Amethyste said, "Put me down!" and then Munya did and then Argost came out of the darkness and said, "Welcome Amethyste" and then Amethyste looked at him and said, "No it can't be I've heard of you you're evil and a madman" and then she tried to run away but Munya got her back. Then the Agorst said, "Put her into the cell and bath her and also do what ever you want with her but do not kill her". Then Munya took her to the cell and throw her into the cell and he they shut the door. Amethyste got up and went to the window and looked out and she was wishing that Doyle or someone will save her. Mean while back at the hideout mansion of Van Rook Doyle was getting weapons ready to go and save Amethyste. Mean while Amethyste was sitting on the floor and then the door opened and it was Munya and he tied Amethyste with some chains and then he striped her and then he raped her and then Amethyste said, "Go away you bastard". But he didn't he went and came by with a whip and whiped her hard and then he continued and beat her almost to death and then Argost came in with a needle of Mogolian Death Worm Venom and then he injeted into Amethyste.

FEW HOURS LATER

Doyle Frank and Van Rook even though he didn't want to come was on the way to Weird World to save precious Amethyste. Mean while in the cell where Amethyste was been kept Amethyste woke up and she looked on her body there was blood and scars she only could move her right arm but not her left. Then Amethyste cried, "I feel so cold" and then she can't see very well. At the frount gates of Weird World was Doyle and the others and then they said, "Let Amethyste go!" and then Argost said, "No" and then Doyle said, "Right I'll will climb up to the cell and get Amethyste and you and the others will find another way in". Then Frank said, "Alright" and then Doyle started to climb up. Mean while Frank and Van Rook ran into Weird World and went into the mansion. Van Rook said, "I'll will go and kill Argost and you go and help Doyle". Frank said, "Be careful" and then Van Rook said, "I will don't worry about me".

Mean while Doyle got to the cell where Amethyste is. Doyle said, "Amethyste are you in there?" and then Amethyste said, "Oh Doyle you finally came!" and then Doyle said, "Are you alright?" and then Amethyste said "No I am not alright!" and then Doyle said, "They beat you up and raped you also the Argost gave you vemon!" and then Amethyste said, "How did you know that?. Then Doyle said, "When I was your age they did the same thing to me". Then Amethyste said, "Can you get me out of here?" and then Doyle said, "Yes stand back" and then he ran back and ran towards the door and kick it down.

Amethyste said, "Wow!" and then Doyle looked and saw she was covered in bloob and scars also she was naked and then Doyle said, "Why they did it to you so bad not me!" and then Munya came and said in hand signs, "Because she got a power and she can destroy us all the bad guys". Then all kind of poinson deadly man eating cryptids came out and surround them.

Then the fight began.

Doyle got out his wrist gun andstarted firing at them. Then Doyle saw some swords and said, "Frank is that you" and then Frank said, "Yes it is" and then Doyle and the others started to kill the cryptids. Mean while Van Rook is have a fun time trying to kill Argost. Van Rook said, "I wish Abby and Drew and Peidro was here to back me up" and then a sword came out of nowhere and said, "Some wished us here!" and then Van Rook turned and said, "Drew my sweetie why you doing here". Then Drew said, "I was hoping you could tell me" and then Argost said, "Oh no!" and then the combined powers from them all helped destroy Argost because nobody liked him when they found out his plan to conquer whole world.

Mean while Doyle and Frank was helping Amethyste out and Frank took off his shirt and put it around Amethyste.

FEW HOURS LATER

Doyle and the others are on the way back to the hideout. Frank said, "We must go to hospital to get Amethyste better". Then Van Rook said, "No they're too expensive" then Doyle said, "I think you are right Frank but we can't because they will think we did it to her" and Drew said "We'll help" then they turned around and went to Saturdays house. Doyle looked down on Amethyste and put his hand onto Amethyste's head and she was bruning up. Frank went aside of Doyle's motorcycle and looked and said, "She is getting worse I not sure she'll make it" and then Doyle said, "I know" and he had secret tears.

FEW HOURS LATER

They were at Saturday medical facility and Doyle stayed at Amethyste's side everyday intill she wakes up and then Doyle kissed Amethyste on her lips and then she moved her arms around Doyle and then Doyle said, "All you alright?" and then Amethyste said, "Yes I am!" Doyle said, "I am soo happy!" and then Amethyste said, "Do you want to be my boyfriend?" and then Doyle said, "Yes I will be your boyfriend" and then Amethyste and Doyle kissed. Amethyste said,"What happened to me Doyle?" and then Doyle said, "You got kidnapped by Argost and Munya raped you and also beat you almost to death and then Argost gave you venom" and then Amethyste said, "Why can't I move one arm?" and then Doyle said, "Your left arm is broken". Then the door opened and it was Zak and then Amethyste said, "Hello who are you?" and then Doyle said, "This is my nephew Zak" and then Amethyste smiled and said 


End file.
